Did you ne're hear of the baby of Mars,
That charg'd Tom Fox's wife with his Tars,
For his valour lies in his Arfe.
Which needs muft be very ftrong.
A Sanctify'd Colonel in beaten Buff.
With a Scarlet Jump that's Cudgell proof,
And his Son Crowland Coward of the felf fame ftuff,
Who got the wench big with young. Probatum eft.
He's a journey man Souldier to the States Army,
And 'tis in his terms; when you fight you muft fpare me.
So runs the Commiffion of Colonel Jermy,
If I be informed true.
Upon a mock 'Larme he's fure in the Van,
Where he takes none, and does no more hurt then he can,
He's a pitifull Souldier though a Cruell man,
Let's give the Devil his due.
To sacrifice to his fears and his pride,
He caused a Church Champion be murder'd and tryed
By the Judge of his name, and the rope on his fide.
Tis pitty they ever were parted.
Yet you cannot but fay 'twas very well meant,
When he went to the houfe of Parliament,
In Love to his Country before he was fent
In a Coach when he might have been Carted.
You muft always take the good will for the deed,
Though at Rifon he had not the luck to fpeed,
Yet fome other place may have very great need,
If the Devil releafe but his hire.
So dear was his love that he purchas'd a throng,
Of Sea men in Lice and Lungs very frong,
Sure he will be fome body ere it be long,
If he be not laid in the Mire.
How the Sailors did hollow and throw up their hats,
And the men with wide mouths that ufe to c...prats,
But the brave Spark of Arndel made them look like drown'd Rats,
When he humbled Tom Toll for his Sin.
That high borne Heroe had Cudgel'd their Swords,
Had they not almoft expir'd at his words,
But the whole defign was not worth two half turds,
Though you throw the three Justices in.
In his laft good fervice he took the City
By an Order from the miftaken Committee,
Where he fcap'd a fcouring the more was the pity,
For 'twas fowle when you have faid what you can.
He'd march'd into Gates with an hundred more,
O brave! he ne're did the like before,
For he ufed to fneak in at the back dore,
As becomes a right modest man.
When they enter'd the Town, the beleagu'd the Mayor,
And with wonderfull courage they ftormed the Chair,
But they foon were all foul, and ran very fair,
As if they'd been bred for the Courfe.
For the Bells were rung backwards as he faies his prayers,
And his head went forward with his hafte down the Staires,
Like a man of difpatch in the State Affaires,
Thank Fortuneit was no worfe.
'Tis much to be wondred he fhould leave he Rump,
Though his love to that end has receiv'd a Law Frump,
But that is his God what ever is trump,
Yet his Spirit now was blind.
Had the Rump but once fizled 'twas the ftrogeft fide,
But a Fart has fo routed his Troop in their pride,
Though infallible Butler was his guide,
That they are both blown down the wind.
Yet that would be thought a true Englifh man,
Let him make true Latine if he can,
Yet learned mens lives this Rafcall will fcan,
And when he has done it deny it.
This is Jermy's forlorne when brave Jack appear,
He has little of wit, and lefs of fear,
And fwears for his Colonel by the year,
And when he is in he will ply it.
When the Nation was jaded with a Quaker,
This Jippoe for footh was a great undertaker,
And amongft other Trades a Juftice maker,
10 Brewer, Tirrell, and Gaffer Life
Were made and Created by his ftinking breath,
To fit on the Bench upon life and death,
We'd as good have had a Turd in our Teeth
Without any further ftrife..
I thought this Colonel would fayle,
When he was upon his Codpiece bayle,
He got fuch a flap with a Fox Tayl,
As more at large in your Box Sir.
But now if we may believe Common Fame,
At prefent they fay he's fled for the fame,
How poorly this fellow has plaid his game,
But let him not fcape without knocks Sir.
Yet he is fuch a Coward that I dare fay
He neither dares fight nor yet run away,
And yet he'd be glad to ftand at a ftay,
If he might but have his Quietus.
Foe tell him his bafeneffe but once to his face
Y'are fure enough he dies on the place,
If he hangs not himfelf upon this difgrace,
Tis One to a Thoufand he'le beat us.
Ref: Anon. circa 1660. A display of the Headpiece and Codpiece: Valour of the most renowned Colonel Robert Jermy, late of Bayfield in the County of Norfolk, Esq, with his son Captain Toll by his side, now on their way for New England. British Library: c.40.m.9 (73) [Bagford Ballards]